It’s heartbreaking to know that your kids are suffering his wrath. It can be tempting to rescue and protect them by giving in.
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I spent so much energy thinking about how he was going to mess up my plans that I started banking on it. It controlled my life and my parenting which is exactly what he wants.
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In my day-to-day life as a single mom, I was so afraid to talk to my daughter about anything related to abuse. I didn’t want to say anything against her dad, or tell her that he was wrong. I was so afraid of being vilified in court for badmouthing him.
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He knew that I was extremely vulnerable, mourning the loss of our relationship and desperately desiring a relationship for my daughter with him and he used that vulnerability against me.
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I was concerned because here I was making this bold, courageous move to leave an abusive situation, yet my daughter was still chasing after love and approval from her father, her friends, even (emotional) bullies at school.
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