It’s heartbreaking to know that your kids are suffering his wrath. It can be tempting to rescue and protect them by giving in.
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I spent so much energy thinking about how he was going to mess up my plans that I started banking on it. It controlled my life and my parenting which is exactly what he wants.
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I realized it didn’t matter what I did, he was going to abuse my daughter. I got angry and thought, “How is this freedom from abuse when we’re both still being abused?!?”
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In my day-to-day life as a single mom, I was so afraid to talk to my daughter about anything related to abuse. I didn’t want to say anything against her dad, or tell her that he was wrong. I was so afraid of being vilified in court for badmouthing him.
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We would love to co-parent like regular people. But we wind up in situations where we have to choose between the truth that we can’t give him an inch or he’ll take a mile and the fact that we want to do what’s good for the kids.
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