How many years during your relationship with the ex did you spend walking on eggshells, trying to keep him happy so that he wouldn’t blow up and scare the kids?
Many moms who are co parenting with a narcissist think either I let him berate and abuse me or he’ll turn it on the kids.
The heartbreaking truth is he will always do both.
The narcissist ex will abuse you as much as possible because you are his primary source of supply. The momma bear instinct is to take it all on you so that he’ll leave the kids alone. Unfortunately, when the kids go to his house, they are now his primary source of supply and he will turn his abuse on them no matter what he’s done to you.
I realized it didn’t matter what I did, he was going to abuse my daughter. I got angry and thought, “How is this freedom from abuse when we’re both still being abused?!?”
Armed with this information, you can make a choice to stand up to him. Start putting boundaries in place one at a time that will stop his abuse of you and reduce his abuse of the kids when they are with you.
If you’re already putting boundaries in place, be extremely proud of yourself! Take a look at your situation. If you’re still being abused and he’s still abusing the kids, it’s time to take your boundaries to the next level.
Empower yourself, stand in your power, and do everything you can to eliminate or lessen the abuse of you and lessen the abuse of your kids. I promise your kids are watching and learning. You can’t control what goes on in his house, but you can control what goes on in yours.
If you need help getting boundaries in place or taking your boundaries to the next level, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me. We’ll talk about what tools are available to you to empower yourself and your kids to be badass boundary bosses.
God made you for this!
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