I listened to a sermon from Pastor Steven Furtick entitled Same Devil, New Level. It inspired me as a survivor of narcissistic abuse and I’m taking it one step farther to add: Trying to Use an Old Strategy In a New Season.
When I was in an abusive marriage, I tended to “lone wolf” problems that came my way. I handled everything on my own, without talking to others because I was protecting him. Once I left, I needed to tell people what really happened because I needed help and needed people to understand that this was not a “typical” divorce.
The strategy I used in my marriage no longer worked out of my marriage. Same devil, new level.
Fresh out of the marriage, I talked to my mom and my friends about all the terrible things I had been through. This fed my emotional need for validation that I wasn’t crazy, that it was abuse, and that it really was that bad.
Sadly, my mom passed away so I lost the person I was talking to about this the most. And after a while, my friends got tired of hearing all the negativity. I realized I wasn’t progressing in my healing and the complaining was just adding to my frustration.
The negative things were still happening, but I needed a new strategy.
I encourage you to take a good look at your situation right now. Are you stalled in your healing, are you frustrated and not getting anywhere in your co-parenting?
You’re dealing with the same devil, you just need to go to a new level. Don’t beat yourself up about it, just recognize that what you’ve been doing isn’t working anymore and you need a new strategy.
Maybe you’ve been doing everything on your own without God and you want that faith in Him. You could start by watching sermons online. I recommend Elevation Church as a good one to start with.
Maybe you’ve been in therapy for some time and it helped for a while, but now it feels stalled. You might be moving into a new season and it’s time for a new strategy or tool.
Perhaps it’s time to look into coaching. Therapy is wonderful, but a therapist has likely never been in a situation like yours. Coaching is on a different level because they’ve been where you are and can see things from your point of view. A coach can point you in a new direction to regain your own power.
Never shame or blame yourself for something that isn’t working anymore. You’ve spent a lot of time and energy trying to please an abusive person. Now it’s time to take back your power.
You’ll go through seasons as you grow, and each new season needs new strategies and tools. He’s going to be the same old devil, but you’re taking yourself to new levels.
If you’re ready to start using new tools as you move to your next level, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me. We’ll talk about your specific situation and you’ll walk away feeling empowered to take your next step.
God made you for this!
XO,
Vickie
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