Divorcing and co-parenting with an abuser is a lonely life. I get it. Courts and judges don’t hear you, family and friends may even abandon you. You feel very alone.
But underneath the physical feelings of being alone, your state of mind can be lonely on a deeper level. It’s so easy to get stuck in a loop of blaming the ex for everything going wrong, feeling like you’re never going to get ahead, having to deal with the constant reality that your kids are being actively abused and there’s nothing you can immediately do about it.
I was in this exact place, thinking about my situation, when I had the sudden realization that no one was coming to save me; I was going to have to do it myself.
"Take every thought captive..." (2 Corinthians 10:5). This is what God was speaking to me in my early morning quiet time with Him. I just had never done that before and wasn't quite sure what it looked like.
I was stuck in a loop of negative thinking. I desperately wanted a better life for myself and my daughter. So, I began to write these phrases in my journal (every day): I take control over my mind. I take control over my stinking thinking. I take control and authority over my fears. I take control and authority over my life.
I completely understand that these might sound like just words as you face the fact that your kids are still being actively abused. But if you stay in this negative loop of thinking, worrying, and blaming, how effective are you at parenting them and teaching them how to stand up for themselves?
The realization that no one but me could rescue me from my negative thought pattern literally changed my life. I made an effort to change my thoughts. I read my Bible, listened to worship music, went for walks and talked with God. I had to pull myself up and change my mindset so that I could be the best possible version of myself for my daughter and for me.
This might feel like an impossible feat, but I know you can do it. There are lots of practical tips on how to get yourself started in the right direction. But the real work is changing your mindset. You have to win the battle over your mind to change the trajectory of your life.
Decide today that you get to control how your life goes. Take control over your mind, your heart, your thinking, and your whole life.
If you need a jumpstart to get you pointed in the right direction, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me. You’ll leave with peace and clarity that you can do this. You got this, sister.
God made you for this!
XO,
Vickie
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