When we rely on the ex for one of our core needs like food, shelter, joy, peace, or freedom, we are still enmeshed emotionally with him. When he doesn’t come through, our whole lives are affected.
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I had no way of putting food on the table for the holiday. My first thought was to blame the ex, which I’m sure I did for a hot second. But after I got that out of my system, I did three things.
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He will fight desperately to control you in any way possible. And the easiest way to do that is to control innocent children. His desire to hurt you is so strong that he is willing to put innocent children through whatever it takes to get to you.
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For years I spent so much of my energy on a fool that I didn’t have enough left over to deal with regular parenting.I used to forget and still expect that I could explain my side and he would finally see. Or he would finally do the right thing for our kid. *Spoiler Alert* He never did.
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I was stuck in a loop of negative thinking. I desperately wanted a better life for myself and my daughter. I wrote these words in my journal.
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