For years I spent so much of my energy on a fool that I didn’t have enough left over to deal with regular parenting.I used to forget and still expect that I could explain my side and he would finally see. Or he would finally do the right thing for our kid. *Spoiler Alert* He never did.
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I was stuck in a loop of negative thinking. I desperately wanted a better life for myself and my daughter. I wrote these words in my journal.
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There was no boundary he wouldn’t cross just to keep the drama going. Separating and divorcing didn’t change any of it. Here’s what I discovered.
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He was trying to lead me down a path where I was the one who did something wrong. This happens to us all until we get a strategy to stop playing into their questions so they can’t lead us down the path of defending ourselves, destroying our credibility.
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I wanted to release the ex from the harm that he's done to me and my kid so that I could feel better. You could call that forgiveness, but it was more like 'release and detach'. Yet I couldn't do it. And I definitely couldn't forgive. I couldn't even pray.
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