This one might sting a little bit.
Think of all the things that you think about on a daily basis in reference to your abuser, especially as you're going through a court battle and co-parenting with them. The craziness, the chaos, the drama, the frustration...
Do you blame your abuser for some of it? All of it? Sometimes? Often? Always?
What would happen if blaming him was no longer an option?
The things you complain about him are valid and he is likely the cause of a lot of pain, heartache, stress and drama. I know, I lived it for 24 freaking years!
I used to blame my ex for EVERYTHING possible. Because it felt GOOD. I felt JUSTIFIED. I felt VALIDATED.
Pretty much I could blame him for like 90% of my problems!
It felt so good to blame him and not have to worry about him yelling at me! I was blaming in my mind, in my heart, in my journal, to my friends, my mom, and sometimes even to strangers!
It felt so right because for the first time in two decades, I could actually call a spade a spade and not worry about being told I'm wrong or walk on eggshells.
However, a couple of years ago I was in my kitchen on a night that my daughter was with her dad. I was thinking about my problems and it was blame, blame, blame, blame.
All of a sudden, I literally felt this light feeling, a God nudge. And He said, “What would happen if you couldn't blame him anymore? What then? What would you do?”
God knocked me off my feet in that moment and I contemplated what would happen if I stopped pulling the blame card.
It was then I realized if I stopped blaming, I would stop giving my power away.
I'd given my power away for 24 years. I was done with that.